Solitude.

My work life is honestly so much more lenient compared to my undergraduate life, leaving me with a lot of free time to myself (minus the work hours). I barely take home work from the office (after all, I'm not being paid out of work) so I only really work 45 hours a week. Coupled with the fact that my job gives me a lot of freedom, I have a lot of free time, and more importantly, free thoughts. The work place is fun, but it can only go so far as to satisfy my social needs, particularly since it's such a small foundation (we're totaling at 50 if you include everyone there, including the outsourced people) and since I'm the new kid on the block, it's not exactly easy penetrating the cliques instantly. It's all good though.

However, I won't deny that I've been feeling rather lonely as of late. I'm a guy from the province, thus my primary social circle here in the Metro revolved around my college life. Now that I've graduated from college, and all my friends have proceeded to medical school, my circle of friends has gotten really really slim. They've all found new friends, or even if they haven't, their hectic schedules in med really eats up all their time. Thus, I never get to see any of my friends. It sucks. My life has started to become routinary, I get up, I shower, go to work, do my work stuff, go home, rest, sleep. Rinse and repeat. I miss having the constant companionship I had in undergrad. I never ran out of company in college, there was always someone to hang out with, be it blockmates, org mates, coursemates, or just friends and acquaintances. Not to mention my love life was relatively more active in college. People weren't kidding when they say that college is the best time of your life.

I keep telling myself that I want to settle into my single life, save up cash, spend time and money on myself for once, and slowly plot the direction of my life right now. But a small part of me does long for companionship. A girlfriend? Perhaps. Mainly I just need someone to talk to. Have a few drinks and cigarettes with. Mental stimulation that is outside the work place (honestly with work colleagues, they're good friends but you always seem to end up talking about work, and well, it's nice to have a break from that, you know?) Company, to put it briefly. I had shit loads in college and high school. I dunno. Perhaps when I move out of Malate I'll be able to sort my life out properly. As Pecier said, I still haven't cut my UP Manila umbilical cord. Haha. Meh. Whatever.